Today, I Launched My Mental Health Secret

Today I flipped the switch on My Mental Health Secret. Here’s my introductory post.

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I want to get this right.

When I created My Diabetes Secret, I knew there was tremendous potential for a platform for people impacted by diabetes to safely, and anonymously, share what they were feeling. It feels like we, the diabetes community, have only recently matured to the point that openly discussing the mental burden of diabetes is something that we’re moderately comfortable with.

When I began planning the expansion of the My Disease Secret platform to other communities, I put the mental health community at the top of my list because I know that we need to have larger conversations about anxiety, depression, compulsions, obsessions, and other mental health issues. There needs to be a better way to talk about our experiences. There needs to be a better way to shine the spotlight on what is really happening. My hope is that the promise of anonymity will provide a safe space for all of us to talk about these issues.

So I reached out to a couple of advocates in the mental health space. Mark, from Everybody has a Brain, and Mike from It Starts With Me (oddly enough, both from Canada) to help ensure I get this right.

With their help, I hope to build a platform for an open, honest discussion about issues like anxiety, depression, fear, compulsions, obsessions, challenges, recovery, and relapse.

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On Constructive Criticism and Showing Respect

Earlier this week I spoke at a meetup for the Bay Area Chapter of Medicine X about My Diabetes Secret and My Chronic Disease Secret. You can view the slides from my presentation here. I talked about the original inspiration for My Diabetes Secret, shared some of the submissions I’ve read over the past couple of years, and covered the evolution of the design for the platform – notably making a better effort to put the resources page more visible.

As my presentation moved into the challenges of My Chronic Disease Secret, I asked a number of questions of the audience to try and start a conversation about what about this anonymous sharing platform works and what needed to be rethought. Does an anonymous sharing platform like this only benefit the diabetes community? If not, how might we better engage other disease communities? How might we improve upon the task of providing a platform free of judgement, shame, stigma, and identity to the larger chronic disease community?

The resulting feedback I received was exactly what I needed to hear.

Some don’t see what they are living with as a chronic disease, and may not identify with a site named “My Chronic Disease Secret.” Some haven’t accepted their diagnosis. Some don’t want to, or can’t relate to other disease communities. While there’s much we can learn from each other across diseases, these’s still something to being among your peers. “Me too” can only go so far – I think I stretched that philosophy too far with the initial approach I took to My Chronic Disease Secret. In applying the My Diabetes Secret formula so broadly, I didn’t respect the individual nuances of each patient community. It was wrong for me to think that I could reach everyone at once. This is a process, and it takes time.

The funny thing is, I’ve been having these doubts and criticisms circling in my head for weeks, if not months, but hearing these points from people who were brand new to this idea made all the difference. The people at this meetup only knew of My Diabetes Secret what I was able to convey in 20 minutes, their perspective was fresh. And ultimately, their feedback is part of the reason I’m writing this today.

Part of the reason My Diabetes Secret works is that it’s focused. Instead of trying to speak to everyone, it just reaches one community – people impacted by diabetes. And while my initial ideas about expanding the platform were similarly focused, I got distracted by the prospect of trying to help everyone at once and ended up satisfying none of my initial goals. With all of this in mind, I’m going back to my initial question that started this whole adventure:

I created My Chronic Disease Secret because I felt other online disease communities could benefit from a platform to share their feelings anonymously, free of judgement, shame, or stigma with each other. But I didn’t give these communities the respect they deserve in providing them with their own respective platforms as I had for the diabetes community. If diabetes has its own space, why not cancer? Why not arthritis? Why not mental health conditions? So…I’m going to do that.

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Not Doing Enough

I don’t have the courage to tell anyone I have this horrible disease.

Shared on My Diabetes Secret

Seeing stuff like this come through on My Diabetes Secret reminds me that we aren’t doing enough for the diabetes community. I don’t know exactly who “we” are, and I don’t know what can be done to help people like this, but I know the status quo is not sufficient.

How might we create a more accepting culture for people living with a chronic disease?

How might we empower people to feel they are in control of narrative surrounding their disease?

How might we better battle stigmas that create the shame that hides public disclosure of a chronic condition?

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Reduce Stress and Anxiety

“Having diabetes can be very stressful, and it can bring out all kinds of emotions. Denial, depression, and anger are feelings many people with diabetes have experienced. When you’re first diagnosed, it’s normal to believe there must be some mistake. it’s also normal to be sad or angry over the lifestyle adjustments it requires. The inability to get beyond these emotions, however, can put your health in danger.”

Of all the things I wish I knew when I was diagnosed, I think this is at the top. I don’t remember ever feeling particularly “down” about my diabetes in the early years. Maybe jumping right back into my classes at Virginia Tech prevented any opportunity to truly contemplate what the future of my life would become as a result of this disease. With so much of my life undetermined, I think I just added this to the list of things I had to consider.

These types of nuggets of advice are always tricky for newly diagnosed. There’s so much information out there, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. If you perform an image search on the word “diabetes”, you’ll get the clichéd injection pictures next to amputations. If you look for non-medical perspectives on diabetes, there’s a whole mess of blogs, and patient communities to discover.

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What Ever Will?

I saw my endo today. I tried so hard to drop every necessary hint for her to see how depressed I am. She didn’t understand. She told me to try harder. She asked what motivates me. The truth is, I don’t know. You’d think wanting to live would motivate me, but if even that doesn’t work, what ever will?

Shared on My Diabetes Secret

I feel like I really need to talk to someone, but every time I start to tell a friend about how much I’m struggling, they change the topic or ignore it completely, so I’ve stopped trying to open up to people because the reality is, no one cares enough to listen.

Shared on My Diabetes Secret

How might we provide better venues and avenues for people to share what they are feeling? When they need help most, are “we” failing the diabetes community?

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You Should Check Out ‘Take This’

I’m going to share a bunch of links in a moment that are all worth clicking on, in order of importance. They all revolve around Take This, a non-profit which “seeks to inform our community about mental health issues, to provide education about mental disorders and mental illness prevention, and to reduce the stigma of mental illness.” Most of the time I share content and projects and initiatives aimed at diabetes, its stigmas, and community-created solutions to the struggles and challenges of living with diabetes, and in a way, this is an extension of that.

The mental health component to diabetes management is often overlooked, ignored, and dismissed. But making the right decisions in the name of diabetes control is unbelievably difficult if you’re not in the right frame of mind.

So, in a way Take This does relate to life with diabetes. It’s another avenue to explore, share, and learn from others who have something to say about mental health.

Take This recently launched its own podcast, you can listen to it here.

And if you want to hear more from Russ Pitts, the co-founder of Take This, he’s been a guest on my podcast, Just Talking, not once, but twice. There’s plenty of talk about Take This in both episodes which should help you get a better idea of Take This‘ mission.

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The Me Too Conundrum

Image (linked) captured from My Diabetes Secret

Image (linked) captured from My Diabetes Secret

Finding someone who gets it is great. You don’t have to explain the basics. You don’t have to explain the details. Jargon and slang become the common language. It’s like being part of a secret society that happens to affect more than 29 million (diagnosed and undiagnosed, regardless of type) people.

But in order for them to “get it”, they have to go through the same struggles you do. They have to experience the fear, dread, anger, sadness, frustration, confusion, and maybe even depression. In order for them to get it, they have to have it. And that sucks.

I’m a firm believer in the power of “me too”, I just wish it didn’t come at such a cost.

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