I Forgot

Somewhat recently I updated my Instagram profile to more accurately describe the stuff I share over there.

I mostly post pictures of my Dexcom and my cats. Occasionally, I sprinkle in some other stuff…but that’s mostly it. Says a lot about me, I suppose.

But, over the past week or so, I’ve been intentionally avoiding sharing any Dexcom lines because, for the most part, I forgot how to diabetes.

It feels like the only time my blood glucose levels are “normal” is when it’s en route to an extreme high or severe low. No amount of corrections seem to do the trick, and at some point I just gave up on the idea of control and started settling “I tried”.

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Multiple Mindsets of Diabetes

Do you ever have days when you care too much about your diabetes, yet nothing seems to go your way? Do you ever have days when you care too much about your diabetes, and all that hard work pays off?

Do you ever have days when you don’t care about your diabetes, and your blood glucose numbers perfectly complement your apathy with wildly out-of-range readings? Do you ever have days when you don’t care about your diabetes, and everything goes swimmingly?

Do you ever have a day when you experience all four of those mindsets, and struggle to find balance – to find normal?

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Overnight Worries

It’s a shame “when you get it right, you don’t have to worry about overnight high or low alarms and can get a full night’s rest…until the cats wake you up” can’t be a back-of-the-box selling point for insulin pumps. Because when you get it right, and you don’t have to worry about overnight high or low alarms, and you can get a full night’s rest…until the cats wake you up, is the best. Seriously.

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Improper Reliance

I’m preparing for my endocrinologist appointment in a few days and have started to download/upload/analyze data from my various diabetes devices. While I might not be able to make the most sense out of what all these numbers will mean, it will help focus some of the questions I will bring into the appointment and some of the objectives I hope to accomplish by the time the appointment is over.

I want to have a solid gameplan for how to approach my diabetes care in 2015. I need some back-and-forth to go along with the material supplied by ‘Pumping Insulin‘. I know the results of this data download and accompanying blood tests will not be stellar, but I know I have the ability to put everything in order and figure this diabetes thing out.

But when I look at the averages from my blood glucose meter, I worry. The 30 and 60 day averages indicate 2 blood glucose tests per day. Yikes. What happened to 6-10 times per day? It looks like I’ve been relying on my CGM for far more than the occasional corrective action. The FDA, and my doctors, say the blood glucose meter result is the be-all, end-all number that informs diabetes management – I haven’t been following those instructions.

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Learning How To Walk

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Just ignore that middle bit. #dexcom #diabetes

A post shared by Christopher Snider (@iam_spartacus) on

By no means am I an expert on this diabetes thing. I have a grasp of the basics: food makes my blood sugar goes up, insulin down, exercise helps, these are the facts, yet this sentence is a lie. But I’ve found that almost everything I thought I knew, took for granted, or even assumed about my diabetes management prior to starting on an insulin pump is a distant memory spent counting insulin pen needles. It’s not that everything I knew doesn’t translate to pumping insulin, it’s just that everything I knew on multiple daily injections doesn’t translate to pumping insulin.

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Trust the Pump

“Your BG is Above Target. Add Correction Bolus?”

Trusting the math within the configuration of my insulin pump has been a big challenge for me. Ordinarily when I would opt to take another insulin injection to get my blood glucose back in an acceptable range, my insulin pump has a more prudent approach to things.

Image (linked) via giphy.com

Prior to pumping insulin, I never consciously factored in the time it takes for insulin to do its thing after I’ve eaten. I know that insulin is required to cover meals, but I rarely thought about the time it takes for that coverage to take place. Now, my insulin pump kindly reminds me that I have 4.02 units of insulin in my system for another 3 hours, and does not recommend any additional insulin.

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