The last time I wrote something on this blog I admitted that my desire, or more accurately my drive to write had diminished. Obviously, based on the timestamps, that problem still persists. Over the weekend I realized that my lack of initiative here has negatively impacted my productivity where it matters most – my professional career. I never would have guessed that this silly little (sometimes about) diabetes blog would be responsible for generating and maintaining the creative juices that flow through most of my online persona. And that those creative juices are the fuel that power the rest of my professional work throughout the day. But here we are.
As my time, energy, and focus are required elsewhere, the urge to find something to post on this space has declined. For the longest time I felt obligated to maintain some kind of illusion that I was a reliable beacon for the diabetes community evidenced by a new post every weekday. Even if that meant sharing a cat picture and writing 12 words underneath it, you could count on me.
To an extent, this can no longer be the case.
I’m not leaving. But I can’t pretend to be the diabetes advocate I was last week, last month, or last year. I just can’t. This means that I have to be more judicious with my time, and that ultimately means this blog cannot function as it has in the past.
So, when I have something to say, I’ll say it – here. And when I say it, I’ll do my best to make it worth your time to read. But I won’t be here every day. And I’m going to be okay with that.
For the past couple of months, keeping up with all of this felt like a job. Rather than wanting to write, I felt like I had to write. And that self-imposed burden has reached its tipping point. Why do I put this pressure on myself? Why does it feel like I’m letting the diabetes community down by stepping back? These are some of the questions that currently circle my mind. I don’t have all of the answers, and I may never will. For the time being, that means I need to step back and figure some stuff out.
That’s not to say that I’m disappearing from the Internet. I still have my podcast. I still post cat pictures with alarming regularity. Twitter will always be a thing. And My Diabetes Secret isn’t going anywhere.
I don’t know why I’m ashamed to admit this, but when it comes to this blog and how I view my own diabetes advocacy I’ve been phoning it in for a while. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to noodle over how I view my role as a diabetes advocate and call back when I have something to contribute.