Stay the Course

I just want someone I can tell how I really feel too, without fear of judgment or abandonment. I want someone who will check in on me, and will say “I know you aren’t doing okay, please tell me what’s wrong”.

I want a friend.

This was shared on My Chronic Disease Secret last week.

Today, Kerri wrote this:

I miss the old school blogging, quite a bit.  I miss the small community feel that used to be in play, where people wrote in hopes of connecting instead of being “seen.”

As a result, I told Facebook:

I feel guilty saying ‘what happened to the diabetes community?’ to a community of followers who mostly have or know someone living with diabetes.

It’s important for me to remember that the community is, and will always be there, even if I’ve changed.

There’s been quite a discussion thus far.

All of this sort of ties back into something I wrote a few weeks ago about the sense that I’ve become more detached the diabetes community.

What I think I’m getting at is I’m feeling nostalgic for the way things “used to be” even if the way things are right now are a direct result of the growth the diabetes online community has experienced over the past five to seven years depending on your tenure. As we all grow up, have kids, move, get married, find new priorities, it’s difficult to hold onto everything that was a priority in years past. There are times when this blog feel like a mandatory ritual rather than an exciting routine.

But that doesn’t discount everything that’s happened in the past. Newcomers to diabetes, and the diabetes online community benefit from an established ecosystem of support. New readers can explore years of archived content depending on the topic of choice. Just because I don’t feel like there’s as much new and exciting doesn’t mean that all of this has become stagnant.

This is difficult for me to remember because it felt like I was in the thick of things. All of the interactions made it feel like I was part of something special, because the diabetes community is special. Not being as active or vocal or prominent in the day-to-day happenings doesn’t make me any less valuable to the diabetes community. Remembering all of this is difficult. It’s a challenge I never expected to encounter when I started sharing my life with diabetes all those years ago.

I’ll figure out how to navigate this new path. For now, staying the course is okay. There’s enough of me already out in the archives. And there’s enough of you defining the diabetes community for the future. We’re going to be okay.

3 thoughts on “Stay the Course

  1. One thing I learned over the years of writing about my life with diabetes is how much I don’t really like writing about my life with diabetes. Ironic, no? I find much more fulfillment writing about diabetes as an educational tool (specifically the articles) and my blog has helped me as my portfolio. So it fulfilled its purpose, even though it wasn’t really want I always want to do. I like having an online space to share thoughts when they spring to mind, and I think that’s the benefit of having online space. It’s there when you need it. It’s still there when you don’t. But it’s always there.

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    • Ditto. I find little new or encouraging about numbers and diets that are in, or out, of line — but being able to say “I saw this, know that, and synthesize it to suggest the third thing” is important for getting other people thinking about that third thing and being able to validate or refute my hypotheses.

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