Somewhat recently I updated my Instagram profile to more accurately describe the stuff I share over there.

I mostly post pictures of my Dexcom and my cats. Occasionally, I sprinkle in some other stuff…but that’s mostly it. Says a lot about me, I suppose.

But, over the past week or so, I’ve been intentionally avoiding sharing any Dexcom lines because, for the most part, I forgot how to diabetes.

It feels like the only time my blood glucose levels are “normal” is when it’s en route to an extreme high or severe low. No amount of corrections seem to do the trick, and at some point I just gave up on the idea of control and started settling “I tried”.

I’m sure things will balance out when our vacation is over and regular routines resume, that isn’t the problem. The problem is I don’t think I have any reliable data to inform potential insulin pump setting changes for future vacations. I would love to have this pumping thing understood to the point that going on “vacation mode” includes properly configured basal rates and correction factors. But if I can’t establish some semblance of control to start that configuration process, I’ll just continue to spend my days spinning in mud, and thinking of other metaphors that relate to my struggle to control my diabetes properly.

I guess the only way to figure out how to diabetes with an insulin pump on vacation is to take more vacation, right?