As my endocrinologist appointment approaches later this summer and I prepare to start wearing an insulin pump for the first time, I’ve noticed a new range of thoughts and emotions around the upcoming change to my diabetes management. I’ll try to lay it out, but I must warn you: my mind works in mysterious ways.
It goes something like this:
- Wearing an insulin pump is an open display of my diabetes
- This isn’t exactly new to me as I’ve been wearing my Dexcom sensor on my arms for years now
- But this will be different in that it will not be as easy to contain the visibility of the pump, the tubing, or other components I’m forgetting
- On one hand, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing – see #showmeyourpump
- But this will still be new to me
- I don’t care
- But I do
- To be more specific, I don’t care what people will say or think if they see my insulin pump
- But I have to actively not care about caring what people will say or think if they see my insulin pump
I’m not anticipating ridicule or persecution or anything like that, but I think I’m going to need some emotional training to go along with my technical training when I start using this thing. Thus, the mental jui-jitsu referenced in the title…this could get tricky.
I remember when I used to go to the bathroom to take my insulin injections when I was first diagnosed. I remember injecting insulin under the dinner table so no one had to see my insulin pens. I remember going out of my way to make my diabetes comfortable for everyone else to be around instead of putting my health above all. Yes, things will be easier with a pump now that insulin will be a few button presses away, but I’m still anticipating/dreading…dreanticipating? all of the new adjustments I’m going to need to make to my life to get along with this new device.
In other news, today has been designated as a day for everyone who reads a diabetes blog to leave a comment, no matter how simple, on every post read. There’s a hashtag to go with it, as these types of events are wont to do: #dblogcheck. You can read all about the inspiration, reaction, and experience the animated gifs to celebrate the day here.
I’ve also created a Storify post listing every diabetes blog I could find that shared a post with #dblogcheck, in case you want to simplify your reading excursions.
My suggestion to you, after your comment spree is done, is to not let this momentum stop you. Update your feedly lists. Follow new people with diabetes on Twitter. Seek inspiration in other blog designs and make an update to your own layout. Keep these conversations going.
The point of today isn’t to see how many comments you can give or receive – it’s about strengthening the community through these kinds of interactions.