It may be taboo to talk about wanting to take a break from using the Dexcom CGMS but that’s what today needed. It’s not that I’ve been fighting alarms or suffering from endless bouts of sub-par control or feeling any particular form of diabetes burnout. I just wanted a day that wasn’t focused on that dotted line.
I tested somewhat regularly today, although not nearly enough for the data freak that thrives on information, but enough to keep me within an acceptable range diabetically speaking. I bolused appropriately for my meals and didn’t over eat on purpose or anything like that. This wasn’t diabetes with a side of reckless abandon. This was diabetes as I wish it were, a relatively care-free experience.
Some times I don’t want the constant flow of data. Sometimes I don’t want the endless reminders that I’m doing something wrong despite all my efforts. Sometimes I just want to be.
It might not have been my best day of blood glucose control but this is the anomaly in a large sample size of days that come with the focus and determination to get this thing right. Days like today I’m not ignoring my diabetes, I’m just tuning it out a little bit. I’m listening without paying attention…if that’s possible.
All I know is today was a necessary break from the constant everything of diabetes and I didn’t feel guilty at all. I might have missed looking at my Dexcom receiver a few times but withdrawal is never supposed to be easy, right?