I’ve commented on this before, but this sense of dread is rearing its ugly head again: I’m a bad diabetes advocate. It feels a bit ironic given my employer and somewhat active nature in certain aspects of the diabetes online community but I know deep down that I’m not giving 110%.
I didn’t comment on the stupid newspaper guy issue.
I haven’t expressed my outrage.
If (big IF) my blog were the pulse of the online community, we would need to get the DOC an Iron Lung. It’s not that these issues aren’t important to me – they most certainly are. But what does it say about me when I agree with a statement silently rather than using whatever influenece or attention this small soapbox has earned to drive awareness of a specific issue or story? I don’t think it means I’m not “worthy” of this blog; this slice of 1’s and 0’s has helped me deal with some serious emotional and mental issues with living with diabetes. But I often feel like I’m not fulfilling my unwritten pledge to better the diabetes community, online and offline.
Because I didn’t have anything noteworthy to say about the recent Pump Hacking story, does that make me any less of an advocate? Because I didn’t voice an opinion about Reader’s Digest’s missteps, does that mean I’ve missteped in understanding my role in the community?
I feel like I let people down when I don’t rise up. What if my one post is the straw the finds a needle in a haystack?
Just because I’m not writing about these issues doesn’t mean I’m not paying attention, it just means that that fire isn’t there. That extra push to get my fingers typing isn’t strong enough. I know this speaks more about me than whatever everyone else is talking about and I’m not trying to be a contrarian or anything like that. It’s just hard to see so many people devoting time to issues that are important to a great number of people and not feeling the same sense of urgency.
I hope that this will change sooner rather than later. For now please do not hate me. I care. I really do – even if my blog posts, tweets, status updates or whatever don’t necessarily indicate it.
Keep fighting the good fight. I’ll catch up with the rest of you soon enough.
Oh yea, I haven’t forgotten about that YouCanDoThis video. That one is coming very soon. I promise.