Rinse and Repeat

Time for another “knock on wood” post. My next endocrinologist appointment is at the end of August. Most of the time I have feared my appointments with Dr. H (Not House) because I know I’ll be walking into a lecture. Yes, I know I need to do a better job. Yes, I know the future risks and potential complications. No, I do not need any new prescriptions. Yes, I’d like to schedule my next appointment for the same time of the day if possible.

My last appointment was a different story. Having taken a more serious effort at control I knew that whatever my a1c, it would be a significant improvement from my last results. I have continued to work vigilantly to improve my control, sometimes to a fault, or to what some might see as an extreme. But I figure since my life is more or less on the line, I have to try this hard. There is no “or else.”

Since my last appointment with Dr. Not House, my numbers have continued to drop (for the better) and overall I have seen very few extreme spikes. I am still dealing with some post-breakfast lows during the work week, but I think that has to do with the amount, or lack of amount of food I am eating in the mornings. It’s a work in progress. My point though, is that I wish I could just get my a1c taken now. I want to show Dr. Not House that my last appointment was not a fluke. I don’t necessarily need his approval for this thing, but I talk to him more than I talk to my parents about my Diabetes. So looking for some kind of validation of my effort through his responses isn’t entirely illogical.

Of course, even if I did get my blood drawn, and my test results came back fantastic this would not been the end of it. Best case scenario I hear, “great work, keep it up.” I wish this thing were like an exam. You take it, and if you pass, that’s that. If you fail, you try again. Ok, maybe an exam from like freshman year of high school, but I think you get the point. There is no end game with Diabetes. As hard as I work to maintain this control, I can’t just say “ok, I figured it out, I’m done.” As much as I would like to claim mastery over this thing, it will never happen. Maybe a solid understanding, but not mastery. Even if I ((air quotes)) “pass” my next endocrinology appointment, I still have to do it all over again. And again. And again. And again.

Wilford is relentless.

6 thoughts on “Rinse and Repeat

  1. Wilford sure is. Stupid ‘betus.

    I get the wanting validation but you are doing all the right things that work for you.
    Only you can know what truly works and how it is all affecting you.

    Keep up the great work and writing. 😉

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  2. I know that feeling well. I’m always very nervous for Tristan’s A1C results. I want to hear those “Good Job” words! I do I do I do I do…. but more likely then not, I get the lectures. Even if the A1C is better, we still need to work harder and we need to fix this or that….. it’s never ending.

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  3. Hey Chris,

    I like your blog. It seems that you are a very down-to-earth kind of guy. I use that description for myself sometime, and it seems to fit.

    However, there is something that I do not like. I can’t get over it. It’s driving me insane….

    There is no question mark after your quote at the top of every page. There is a period, but no question mark. This simply cannot go on any longer. I will not stand idly by while a blatant grammatical error persists on the top of every page of an otherwise excellent blog. I must speak out. I must make a stand for the English language; indeed for humanity itself.

    So, there you have it. I already feel that a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can breath in a fresh breath of air, and I look around and appreciate the reborn world of the springtime. I am a new man. Reborn by the knowledge that I have altered the world for the better. I will live my life with the freedom that comes from having made a difference.

    Cheers!

    Brett

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    • Since you went at such great lengths to celebrate your victory over my apparent grammar snafu, as risky as it sounds, I’m going to assume you were taking a rather light-hearted approach with your constructive criticism. So I shall retort in a similar fashion.

      Brett,

      Thank you for your comment. I always appreciate getting feedback, especially from new eager-readers. However, if you plan to serve as a member of the grammar police it is only fair that I (we) respond in kind.

      Breath != Breathe.

      I hope this little hiccup in your attempt to “[make] a difference” wont prevent you from coming back and checking out my future posts. And don’t let this response deter you from future comments. I’m sure your perspective is one worth hearing/reading and another point of view in the discussion is always welcome.

      That being said, please remember that I am Spartacus, watch your step.

      Without Wax,

      Chris

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  4. It sometimes frustrates me that there is always room for improvement. It’s never just good enough – it can always be better.

    Let’s say I pulled off an A1C of 6.5 (which feels impossible for me). My doc (like many people’s docs I think) would spend a short time patting my head or whatever, then say “great – let’s try for even lower”.

    Enough is enough right?!

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