Last week I did something that I hadn’t done in months. I ate ice cream. I know, I’m a rebel. Watch out world. Diabetes? What Diabetes?
Admittedly, my diet is restricted by choice and nature rather than the joys of living with the ‘betus. That being said, there is still the issue of portion control. Whenever someone incorrectly says “oh that means you can’t have candy?” I summon my inner John Locke (“Don’t tell me what I can’t do!!!) and inform them that if I wanted, I could have just chocolate for dinner, it’s only a matter of how much chocolate. So taking into account my obsession with control, relatively limited food choices, and hardcore portion control, I rarely deviate from the system. It can get quite boring.
The real issue is the insulin. When I was diagnosed I was put on a rather strict regiment of Humalog. 4 units for breakfast, 4 for lunch, 6 for dinner. My meals were made to fit that number, not the other way around. Now, no one is perfect and there are times when I know the standard insulin injection is not going to cover my meal. But I do what I can to make those times a rarity in the hopes of attaining as much control as possible. However, it *expletive deleted* sucks some times. There have been plenty a night when I have eaten what is calculated as a proper amount of food compared to my insulin, but I still go to bed hungry. Control almost always wins out over my stomach in those battles. There are times when it feels like I am almost starving myself. But because Diabetes said I have had enough, I listen.
I’m sure part of the problem is that I eat like a man possessed for 10 minutes and then I’m done. I rarely take time to enjoy a meal. Eating often feels like a chore, another step in the process of the day. Sure I could deviate from the plan and increase insulin intake for the sake of increasing food intake. But what’s the point of a plan if you don’t stick to it?
So about the ice cream. This wasn’t a battle of wills against a craving that was lasting for weeks on end. I have been in great control for the past few weeks Diabetically speaking and after eating a rather uneventful dinner I felt like ice cream. That simple. Vanilla flavored ice cream with chocolate-covered rice “crunchies” and a caramel ribbon, I give you Quarterback Crunch . It was quite epic. It’s unlikely that I’ll even think about having ice cream again for months, in part because splurging like that is a lot of hassle for 5 minutes of bliss. My health is my primary concern, and while I could probably afford to loosen up from time to time and have something that actually tasted good, I’m not willing to celebrate something short term that could jeopardize the long term.
Wow, I sound like a robot.