He Got Game

So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I’m a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald… striking. So, I’m on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one – big hitter, the Lama – long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga… gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he’s gonna stiff me. And I say, “Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.” And he says, “Oh, uh, there won’t be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.” So I got that goin’ for me, which is nice.

So this weekend was fun. Scottie Reynolds (of Herndon fame) made a game winning shot against Pittsburgh in one of the best finishes in NCAA Tournament history. My experiment of talking chalk for the whole tournament against my parents is officially shot, although my final is still a possibility (UNC over UCONN). Oh, and that Tiger Woods guy won again.

There isn’t enough hyperbole to describe how good Tiger Woods is. He wins 1 out of every 3 tournaments he plays. He had major reconstructive knee surgery and was away from competitive golf for 8 months, and won the third tournament he played in. It’s not like the rest of these guys are bad. They are the elite. And yet he can make these men look like mere children. It’s absurd. Ask NBC how good Tiger Woods is. If they can put him in the first page of the leaderboard, they ignore all other sorting algorithms to put him there, because Tiger draws a crowd. Tiger generates a new range of audience. Tiger is the reason I took up golf in 8th grade.

He really is bigger than the game.

More meaningful posts are upcoming. I’m still in shock that he managed to win this tournament, even though nothing he does surprises me anymore.


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