Why Don’t You Return My Calls?

One of the many joys of diabetes is dealing with insurance. For the first 5 years as a member of the Wilford Brimley Fan Club I was fortunate to still be covered under my Dad’s health coverage. Any issues and the big guy would take care of it. Sadly that coverage expired after I graduated. To clarify, the sad part is where I’m on my own for health coverage, not the graduating part. Thankfully I found a job right out of school, and health benefits switched over at the end of the year painlessly. For the most part I have had no issues with getting prescriptions filled and keeping track of those lovely substantiation forms that clutter the mail box. That is until this past December.

Did you like that tease? You wanted to read on right?

I refilled a prescription for another 3 boxes of insulin pen needles, it’s all about the mini pen needles. Typically I receive notification of the purchase with my FSA (Flexible Spending Account) card within 3 days of getting my goodies in the mail. I send them the receipt proving that I was behaving when I used my non-taxed income for medical expenses and all is well with the world. If I forget to respond, I get a nice little “Second Notice” in the mail. God forbid I wait for even longer, a “Final Notice” arrives within a couple weeks. But for this prescription, no substantiation form arrived by the end of the week. No substantiation form arrived at the end of two weeks. I was worried. Do they not love me anymore? I sent a kind email to my insurance peeps looking for an answer. What I got in return appeared to be copy-paste corprate BS:

Dear Christopher,

Regarding the substantiation for $40 each, we would like to inform you that these charges are in pending and review status. Which means as of now its not yet confirmed that whether you need to substantiate those charges. Because in such cases, there are possibilities that the charges get automatically approved. Incase after the review the charges need to be substantiated, then you will be notified about it.

If you are in need of further assistance or require the assistance of a live representative, please contact us at ***-***-****.  For enhanced convenience and ease of use, we recommend contacting us via email by logging in to our secure website at dub dub dub dot web address dot com.

Thank you,

*insert company name here*

That response was sent December 5. I patiently waited for a response in the mail. It felt like I was chasing after a girl who wouldn’t return my call. December 24 (yea, an odd time to be concerned about FSA substantiation forms) I sent a second inquiry. This time I got a more elaborate copy-paste corporate BS response:

Dear Christopher,

Thank you for your email. Regarding your substantiation for the claim  ########, for $40.00, purchased on 11/24/08, claim ########, for $40.00, purchased on 11/11/085, please be informed that these transactions are currently under Review, hence we request you to wait for 2 to 3 business days to receive the notification from ADP. However we request you to save the receipts for your card purchase transactions, because ADP may ask you to validate the purchase at any point of time.

If you are in need of further assistance or require the assistance of a live representative, please contact us at ***-***-****.  For enhanced convenience and ease of use, we recommend contacting us via email by logging in to our secure website at dub dub dub dot web address dot com.

Thank you

*insert company name here*

We Care…..

Yes, they actually included “We Care” in the email signature. You know, it’d be nice if you could actually prove that you care by not treating my like some generic customer. Why not include a followup response from an actual person? I don’t want to have to do battle at the end of the year because you guys failed to do your job at the proper time. If I am forced to pay out of pocket for prescriptions because my flexible spending account is all used up, I would like to know about it before hand. Believe me, I’ve paid full price for insulin pens. That stuff aint cheap. I sent yet another email to these kind people asking what the deal is. I’m sure I’ll get yet another cookie cutter copy-paste corporate BS response. I still have all my receipts, if these people decide to get their act together I’ll be all over it.

But the question still remains, what is it that I did to merit my insurance not taking appropriate actions to validate my claims? I’m trying to be a responsible diabetic but it’s hard when I don’t get any valuable responses. What did I do to deserve this neglect? I’m going through the proper channels and jumping through all the hoops you’ve placed in front of me. Why don’t you return my calls insurance company? Was it something I said? Take me back baby…I didn’t mean it…

Granted, these are minor frustrations in the grand scheme of things. I have a solid job and health coverage is nothing to scoff at, especially in These Troubled Times (drink!). But it’s well documented, even on this tiny blog, that diabetes has enough complications on a daily basis. Adding paperwork to a stressful situation is never a recepie for success.

3 thoughts on “Why Don’t You Return My Calls?

  1. “We care.”

    Like, “Please believe we care even though we jerk you around several times a year I swear we actually care about you please don’t take your business elsewhere AAARGH!!!”

    Thankfully my mom taught me at a young age that insurance was going to be a giant pain in my butt for the rest of my life, even if for some reason I’d get cured of diabetes, even regular routine stuff gets messed up once in a while. I truly hope that whatever healthcare reform happens in this country works out for the best for ALL of us.


  2. LOL oh don’t you love the relationship with insurance companies? They do care…. they care enough to make you jump through hoops, they care enough to make you worry, they care enough to make you waste your time….. come on, how much more carrying to you want??!!!

    Great post by the way 🙂


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