I shared this picture with the caption saying “Everyone can have a bad day, even Medicine X ePatient Scholars”.
I don’t necessarily think there is or was a mystique or aura about being one of the featured ePatients at Medicine X, I just think we all go lucky among a plethora of applicants. Even so, I don’t want anyone thinking I’m a “perfect patient” or something like that.
I have bad days. I have good days. And I have really bad days.
I dreamt of a world where I went to the gym every morning during the week, targeting different muscle groups for a well-rounded approach to physical fitness. Every evening I spent an episode of Breaking Bad on the elliptical machine or searching for zen with a yoga session. In this world, I kept better track of my physical activity and ate responsibly.
I checked my blood glucose at least 6 times a day. I took my insulin Lantus at 11pm and 11am every day. I took my Humalog at least 15 minutes before eating. I took my Synthroid and Lisinopril every day.
I dreamt of a world where I was in complete control.
Then I woke up and realized that world doesn’t exist.
But I can try to make that dream a reality.
You can see when my Lantus kicked in. And when I finally corrected for those pesky low alarms
Sometimes you do everything like normal, and diabetes responds in kind. I wish those days happened more frequently.
I will say up front that this story has a happy ending. I received my re-up of test strips, insulin pen needles, and insulin when I got home from work and immediately tested my blood glucose after relying on my Dexcom, and only my Dexcom for the entire day. For what it’s worth, my Dexcom was only 3 mg/dL off from my meter when I tested it after a day flying blind.
My concerns are still the same with all of this. My Dexcom is only as accurate as my meter is only as accurate is the technology is capable of calculating. Hardcore diabetes advocates know the FDA’s mandated accuracy for meters is nothing close to acceptable for the people that are directly impacted by these liberal data ranges. The result is a flimsy, but necessary, measure of trust that this technology will live up to the standards and can withstand the tremendous burden placed upon its metaphorical shoulders: keeping me alive.
Count the corrections
Clearly, I’m doing something wrong.
Relying on 1. my Dexcom receiver to accurately monitor my blood glucose, 2. my ability to acknowledge low alarms when they happen, and C. my ability to properly treat lows if they occur is a dangerous combination.
You’d think seeing numbers like 347, 413, 320, 292, and a bunch of other numbers well above 250 mg/dL would motivate me to put a Dexcom sensor on. But you’d be wrong.
I decided to take full advantage of the three day weekend and cared as little as possible for my diabetes during the 72 hours. I took insulin for my meals. I corrected for lows and highs. But I didn’t obsess, I didn’t worry, I didn’t…care.
Yes, this happened.
I say it every time, but that doesn’t make it any less true:
Dexcom. You’ll hate it when it’s accurate. And just as much when it’s not.
Up and down and up and down and up and
For me, the grind is about dealing with the dips and spikes rationally. In our first example, the high plateaued and eventually returned to normal. In our second example, I didn’t bolus appropriately for my meal. The results speak for themselves.
Not every day I finish both pens on the same meal
Is it wrong that I look back on the past 300 units of Humalog and/or Lantus I reflect on the missed opportunities and less-than-ideal control moments? I don’t make it a priority to evaluate my successes at the end of each insulin pen in part because there’s too much irregularity to the timeline. In theory I should be paying attention to my Dexcom data every week but without Mac compatibility, I have to be a bit snobby about software shenanigans.
Yes, it’s snowing on my blog. No, you can’t tell because the background is white. December has plenty of days left so I’ll consider a different Hex Code to show off the flurries.
In a moment of vanity I went back through some of the pictures I posted through Instagram and noticed a promising trend (if you ignore ALL of the cat pictures) – I think my diet is improving.