Pop-Tarts are Evil

Breakfast on the go has always been a dicey endeavor for me. Sure, actually waking up when my alarm says I should would probably be a good start. Then I could explore new and exciting opportunities like sitting down to eat breakfast. I know, scary stuff. Since my move, I’ve been slightly better about actually making something to eat for the morning feast, even if it’s just some bacon to go with my bowl of fruit. It’s not simply out of a box or ready to eat package. There’s effort involved, and it tastes incredible when you sit down and enjoy it. But, in the real world, or at least in my real world, those opportunities aren’t exactly a daily habit. As a result, certain sacrifices must be made.

One such sacrifice is the instant breakfast. I guess the sacrifice would be my own body, but let’s not get into semantics just yet. Surely, you all are aware of the oddity called the Pop-Tart. According to Wikipedia, bearer of truthiness, “Pop-Tarts are a brand of flat, rectangular, pre-baked toaster pastries made by the Kellogg Company. Pop-Tarts have a sugary filling sealed inside two layers of rectangular, thin pastry crust. Some varieties are frosted. Although sold pre-cooked, they are designed to be warmed inside a toaster. They are usually sold in pairs inside foil packages, and do not require refrigeration.”

Personally, I’m an Unfrosted Strawberry man. I’m curious to see what you all prefer, assuming that Pop-Tarts were the only thing available to eat. Under most circumstances, even in my most rushed state, I prefer not to eat these things. But nobody is perfect, myself included. I went to the store this morning to grab a box of cardboard…Pop-Tarts and noticed some new flavors on the shelves. Flavors such as “Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough and Cookies and Creme”. Yes, they spelled Cream wrong. Much to my surprise, the nutritional info yielded some shocking results. Rather than bore you with more text, I’ve provided a fancy image to prove my point.

All of these nutritional information images were pulled from www.poptarts.com.

If you can't see the good part, you might need to click it to view the full-size image. Sorry about that.

My beloved Strawberry Pop-Tarts are quite carby. I suppose it’s all relative. And 37g isn’t that far off from 35g, but when I see something like “Cookies and Creme” and it has less carbs, no matter how few, than something branded as “Made With Real Fruit” there is something seriously wrong with the world. So even while I can eat this, and so can you, it sucks to think how much insulin is required to balance out something so ordinary. Clearly, Pop-Tarts are Evil.

PS. What’s your flavor of choice?

24 thoughts on “Pop-Tarts are Evil

  1. Great post, Chris! I’m the same way – unfrosted strawberry man! However, I have grown accustomed to the brown sugar frosted ones (irony at it’s best for a diabetic), since that’s mostly what the office vending machine has to offer. But with the carb counts, and my actual real attention to those kinds of details in the past couple years, I’ve moved away from them all together for the most part. Really, just not worth it. Not bolus-worthy to me… though we do deviate sometimes!

  2. I haven’t had a Pop Tart in ages. Kind of funny that you wrote this because the past couple times I have been to the store, I have been tempted to buy some – I will take this as a sign that I should break down & get them. My favorite is the brown sugar cinnamon. I don’t particularly care for the frosted ones either. I looked and they have 34 grams of carbs.

  3. I’ve been reading your blog for awhile, my first comment to you. I would go for the brown sugar, but I can’t do it, your right, so evil. I like to at least get to mid-morning before I blow some carbs, or have to worry what I’m going to have to do later in the day to compensate. I think you should add some other evil foods to the list, and granola would be right up there. Now I know that it is somewhat healthy, but the carb count in that can be ridiculous.

  4. Iced Blueberry but have not had one in a long time. Now when in a hurry I choose Sunbelt Oats & Honey @ 19g of carbs

  5. I agree that Pop Tarts are evil! My 10 year old son (diagnosed with Type 1 when he was 3) loves them. I occasionally buy a box for him but it’s so hard to give insulin for these things and it’s so frustrating. If I give him the full amount he goes low and then he ends up high later when I do give him another shot for them. Thank you for your post about them as I now know that I am not the only one that thinks Pop Tarts are evil!

    Kim Bourassa :-)

  6. Pingback: The Friday Six: Writer’s Block. | Healthblogs.net Blogs

  7. what were those things called back in the day… the pop tart competitor? In the commercials the kid would always reject the pop-tart and be overly-excited for the flaky pastry thing. I think you even got to squirt your own frosting on it, which came in a little pouch (twss). Those things were pretty good, but if I had to choose a pop tart, it would be the frosted strawberry or blueberry variety.

  8. Dude this makes me want some! I would have to say strawberry… frosted. Need frosting!

    Also, did you notice that the Ice Creme [sic] version has 2 grams of fiber?! And all the others have (effectively) none?! Wha? How?! I wanna know what’s so special about Ice Creme and where the fiber comes from…

  9. I am not sure that Q has ever had a Pop-Tart in her entire life.

    But just last night at the store* she pointed to a box of them and said “Can we try these?” And I said “Keep on moving.”

    But don’t tell, I sometimes buy the organic ones (without as many nasty ingredients) to keep at work for days I don’t have time for breakfast.

    *We did buy Newman’s organic cookies. 2 bags of ‘em. So I’m really not high and mighty.

  10. My daughter (age 9) loves Smores Pop Tarts, and has great numbers afterwards. I can’t tell you why but she does.
    I think Gummy Fruit Snacks are evil!

  11. No pop tarts in New Zealand, however I will say when we were in the US the kids thought it was Xmas morning when I brought them home. I can’t beleive the plain ones have less carbs. It is odd.

  12. Oh MAN, I essentially subsisted on Pop-Tarts for a solid 8-10 years of my life. so I will ALWAYS love them. Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon or bust! And you know….they could be a lot worse. At least they have vitamins and minerals, right? I get the 2-packs at a bodega once in a while when I crave them (or when I’m low)…..and they’re always bolus-worthy to me. :D

    –Caroline/aka carobanano/aka one of the ACT1 bloggers

  13. Have you seen the ads where they take a Pop Tart and use it to make a smore— as in replacing the graham crackers with the Pop Tarts–?? It’s crazy. Every time I see that I think “this is why Americans have weight problems”… let’s take something that’s pure sugar and combine it with more sugar. They also shown them broken and served with ice cream. Seriously.

    Of course, that said, I’d choose the frosted cherry. Or brown sugar cinnamon. I haven’t had any of these in a while, and now I want one. Argh. Evil indeed.

  14. Since I got myself back in control with insulin last September, I have not even looked at pop tarts! They are so very yummy, and while they’re within my range, it seems like I shouldn’t be eating things that are so pointless!
    And now I’m craving one!
    My favorites have always been Brown Sugar or else Blueberry frosted.
    mmmmmm!

  15. S’mores! Best Poptart flavor ever. And I never get them because they’re terrible for you but mmmmm there’s nothing like a smores poptart hot out of the toaster….

  16. Definitely evil! My 11 year old son, diagnosed at age 3, likes them on occasion. They are strictly off limits on test days or game days though. My personal favorite on the rare occasion that I have one is Frosted Cherry – has to be toasted.

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