Tomorrow is Another Day

I’ve done a lot of praising about this whole Dexcom thing, and with good reason. My A1c dropped to 6.5%, and that’s not a shaky 6.5 or a how-did-that-happen 6.5. It was exactly what I expected and exactly what I thought I (for lack of a better word) deserved. I worked my butt off to prevent the highs from lingering and the lows from sweeping. Because that’s what lows do, they sweep. I can’t really explain it, but in my head…it makes sense. What? Don’t judge me!

Then again, every time I sing high praises, Diabetes feels the need to knock me down a peg or five. It is with that loosely thought out context that I get to blog about seeing three separate, distinct and uber-frustrating “LOW” readings over the course of a 24-hour period. Seriously Diabetes – not cool.

Now, I’m going to use the word blame in the next few sentences, but believe me, I know that’s not how this works. Blame is not the kind of mentality I need to bring into this lifestyle. Diabetes is relentless. It doesn’t care how awesome your last A1c was. It doesn’t care that it was the 4th of July. It doesn’t care what kind of pants you wear. Wait, that’s Fight Club. But I digress.

There’s plenty of blame to go around, mostly at myself. Over-correcting for highs that aren’t that high. Injecting before a meal but mismanaging the preparation time. Over-correcting for highs that were that high. It all comes back to me and my ability to manage this disease. No one else is dialing up another dose of the good stuff. I’m the one responsible for this, and when I experience a multi-low day like I had this weekend, it weighs down on me. Big time.

By the end of the night, I felt exhausted. I had gone through too many caprisuns. I munched on too many glucose tablets. There was just too much. At one point, I simply put down my spoon of ice cream at felt like giving up. I don’t wanna eat anymore. This is the kind of mental struggle that Diabetes can put me through. This is the stuff they don’t teach you when you’re sitting in that hospital bed and you found out a few hours ago that you have Diabetes. This is the kind of emotional breakdown that, no matter how many times you read about it on this or any other blog – SUCKS.

I hate what this disease can do to me. But I am stronger than this. So I’ll pick myself up, recalibrate Hal Jordan, and get back to browsing my Netflix Instant Watch queue. Tomorrow is another day.